Inner Affluence: Increase Your Sacred Capital » Recareer & Retirement

Crossing the Thresholds of Mid-Life

Evelyn — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:52:24 +0000

This week’s guest blog post is by Kate Williams, Small & Local Business Champion who owns Social Biz Local Biz: Social media and internet marketing solutions for local businesses. www.SocialBizLocalBiz.com

I experienced the first half of my life as a journey out of the cold and darkness of an unguided childhood into my adult roles of worker, mother, friend and wife. Those roles gave me the gift of choices to make and a growing practical wisdom informed by the consequences of those choices.

Fortunately, I found some wise friends and teachers along the way, and supported my journey across many bridges over chasms of despair and depression with the gift of time to learn and competency, intelligence and curiosity.

Now, in the second half of my life, there are some new challenges (and some worn, familiar challenges) to be met in new ways. What I have discovered just recently is that time no longer feels like a gift that offers learning and growth and a journey with new views ahead and around every bend. The hourglass has been turned and now time feels more like it is offering a different and unfamiliar gift.

The knowledge and skills acquired in the first half of my life are not adequate to face and live the challenges of the second half.

In her book, The Second Half of Life: Opening the Eight Gates of Wisdom, Angeles Arrien conceptualizes the second half of life as “the ultimate initiation” with “four broad frontiers to face“:

Retirement: from what, toward what?
The possibility of becoming a mentor, a steward, or a grandparent.
Coping with the natural challenges of maintaining the health of an aging body.
Mortality: losing our loved ones, and the inevitability of our own death.

I’ve only barely begun a deep investigation of the four frontiers and eight gates of initiation Arrien describes, but even the beginning is full of opportunities to deepen the experience of life in these “second half” years of my life.

Knocking at the Gate of a New Beginning

“Perseverance is a great element of success.

If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate,

you are sure to wake up something or somebody.”

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I have come to this gate repeatedly in the past ten years, the years of my journey in my fifth decade, and find myself knocking boldly and then turning away. I find that I am frightened, not accepting. I am afraid of loneliness, loss, depression, and decline. I am not yet able to accept the aging of my body and mind. It is dismaying to me to face a future without the anticipation of the excitement I used to feel when the unknown seemed to promise new, fresh experience just around the corner.

The task for me now is to lean into this gate “connected to sources of hope and inspiration” and step across the threshold past the symptoms of my disconnection from what is meaningful and vital. I know that there are significant endings of things once so important to me:

My professional career, always an island of competency and meaningful work as well as income (which seems to be ending no matter how mightily I grip it and dig my heels in to stay attached while it gallops away);
A long term relationship turning from a gift of safety and security to an outgrown and constricting place of judgment;
And, my role as mother, grandmother and friend where physical distance denies me my usual ways to stay connected and contributing.

The Fire of Mid-Life Transformation

I am only at the beginning of knocking at the gate of a new beginning and adventure. In Arrien’s Second Half of Life, she presents Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ graphic description of the fire of transformation:

“Deep in the wintry parts of our minds, we are hardy stock and know there is no such thing as work-free transformation. We know that we will have to burn to the ground in one way or another, and then sit right in the ashes of who we once thought we were and go on from there.”

Arriens describes the Gate as the challenge we encounter, opening the Gate as working with the barrier or challenge at the threshold and crossing the threshold as the process of Transformation, the fire. The first piece of work for me at the Gate seems to be a question for reflection.

The question that seems to call to me to be reflected upon at this stage is a question of “return”: What do I want to return to that I have found meaningful and effective in my work? How can I apply that effectiveness to the issues I face now (physical limitations, underemployment, loss of relationships)? What actions can be taken towards effective “return”?

What helps you to re-connect to your regenerative forces, sources of inspiration, hope and creativity? How do you stay connected? Please share that wisdom with me while I persevere in knocking at the Silver Gate.

Finding Personal Meaning Is An Inside Job: 5 Essential Competencies Women Need To Tackle To Successfully Launch A ReCareer

Evelyn — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 21:29:12 +0000

From the Vintage Vault. This blog post was originally published on October 9, 2009. Comments were hot and heavy then. Ready to add yours to the conversation? I’d love for you to leave your insights and gems in the comment section below…

In either case, a ReCareer may be the answer. What is a ReCareer? According to Dr. Richard P. Johnson, nationally renowned expert on maturing adult development and founder of ReCareer, Inc. it is: “Personally authentic work that feeds your mind, your heart, and your spirit.”

Women at midlife who are “seekers” want something deeper out of life. They want more personal purpose, more meaning, and want their efforts to align more closely with their core beliefs. They seek a more authentic way of living. To these women seekers, who may be 45, 55, 65 or older, age holds no meaning. What does hold meaning for them comes from work and interactions that renew their life purpose, revitalize their passion, reignite their soul, and reinvigorate their inner desires.

One of my closest friends is a seeker. She was courageous enough to listen to that persistent voice inside her that said she needed to take a new career path. For the past several years she has commuted back and forth between the home she shares with her husband in Pennsylvania and her apartment in New York City where she runs her own executive coaching business. She was in her mid 50s when she made this change.

Largely because of seekers like my friend, there has been a fundamental shift in how we perceive getting older. Previous assumptions about life’s second half are becoming passé as a new set of beliefs are giving birth to what it means to live optimally. Aging is no longer viewed as a forced march down a path of decline and constriction, a path that narrows the older we get. The path we’re on now is one of expansion, with an accent on gaining new wisdom, and discovering a new authenticity and significance greater than anything previously experienced.

Certainly the goals of working over our lifespan have changed. Our former jobs provided a financial foundation. They paid the mortgage, put the kids through school, and got us through the daily expenses of living. All of this was necessary, but for many reasons women are now searching for something more; something that gives rise to that still small voice within longing for achievement of a different type – something that feeds their very being.

There are relatively few, if any, clear cut directions for women in midlife who are seeking that blending of career and life passion, so how do they begin this ReCareer journey? The first thing is to commit to a personal assessment, a personal excavation of sorts. A ReCareer represents much more than a set of skills and functions, it’s a woman’s personal response to her inner call; it’s her investment in the mission of her life. A ReCareer determines much of a woman’s total environment: physical, social, mental, psychological, and even spiritual arenas of living.

There are 5 essential competencies that women need to tackle before they can successfully launch themselves into a ReCareer. This journey of discovery will bring them personal fulfillment as well as meet their individual needs, and put them solidly on the path to ReCareer success:

ReCareer Identity: is defined as the degree to which women derive a personal sense of identity and definition from their work. How much of their personal identity, their unique definition of self, comes from their career? In addition, it’s important to look at attitudes, beliefs, and feelings women hold about themselves and determine if they are still true or if they are self-limiting. It’s also important to construct a personal definition of their potential ReCareer (new career), and to assess each of their formerly held positions in terms of skills and functions performed, and any personal feelings generated by these positions.

ReCareer Self-Assessment: helps women identify their ReCareer values, interests and skills. Do they know their inner values, motivated skills, and most cherished interests well enough to accurately translate what’s truly best for them in their ReCareer process?

Transition Hardiness: The definition of “hardiness” is the ability to be adaptable and flexible – two qualities that are critical to successfully engaging in Recareer life change. Women need to determine if they have developed the necessary inner qualities of hardiness: commitment, control, challenge, and connectedness which will enable them to better achieve their ReCareer goals. By looking at past career and personal life experiences women can assess these qualities and work on those areas that may need shoring up.

ReCareer Success Perception: looks at women’s personal and career worlds and how well they can perceive the events in their career and personal life as self-enhancing and self-affirming. That’s done by uncovering and analyzing the successes women have achieved in their personal and career life to date. Success perception is the foundation of a positive self-esteem. Without a positive self-esteem, women are denying their innate power – the energy that calls them to their ReCareer Success. It’s important for women to define what “success” means to them, and to ask themselves if they have successfully clarified their unique formula for ReCareer success.

Setting ReCareer Goals and Making ReCareer Decisions: The purpose of this focus is to help women establish ReCareer and life goals that can assist them in pursuing a clear ReCareer direction. To do this, it’s important to look at all of the life arenas: work, family, relationships, self, leisure, and spiritual to assess how well women exercise solid decision-making skills and what areas they need to address in order to formulate the most compelling ReCareer goals and bring these into reality.

Wordless Wednesday – November

Evelyn — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 13:09:46 +0000

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons license

On one Wednesday each month it’s Wordless Wednesday here on my blog. An opportunity to ‘read’ what’s framed within a photograph; to take just the briefest of moments to still yourself; to let yourself be open to whatever thoughts, memories, emotions an image can bring forth. Photos have stories. As do you. What is the story this photo is telling you? Leave a comment. Pretty please…

A Search for Significance

Evelyn — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:13:18 +0000

Posting some vintage content from the vault this week. This post really sparked a lot of conversation the first time it ran in 2009, and I’d love for you to add your thoughts in the comment section.

While working on developing products and services for the coming year, it occurred to me that I needed to ask a number of questions of the women I serve or hope to serve before I can create a workshop, retreat, e-book, or any other product that is spot on. So I began to do just that, and have spent the past couple of months talking with women all across the corporate spectrum about their pain points, their challenges, their goals and passions.

I wanted to get a better handle on what ignites a fire in the belly of a high-achieving, soul-driven midlife woman, and I wasn’t disappointed.

Everyone I talked with was wonderfully open, unreservedly frank, and touchingly vulnerable. While these women may have taken any number of divergent paths as a result of choice or circumstance, there are a number of places where these various paths intersect, and when standing on that sacred ground, their voices sound particularly unified.

Taking Inventory

As a general rule, successful career women engage in an ongoing inventory of their lives, their values, and their priorities in order to make sure these areas are integrated and aligned, and to make the necessary adjustments when they are not, but midlife is a time when that level of evaluation and reflection becomes increasingly essential.

Many of the women I spoke with commented on this kind of self-reflection and on their desire to combine both money and meaning to live a life rich in significance. For some women, that means reflecting on whether or not their current career can meet them where they now live in terms of their evolving values and desire to create an optimum life.

Midlife Reflections - Women Speak

“Is this all there is? I ponder that question every day since I turned 52. One the one hand, I love what I do. On the other hand, I’ve had this nagging restlessness the past several years – this subtle itch that’s telling me there has to be something more.”

“It’s not to say that what I’ve been doing these past 25 years didn’t have significance for me, but my needs have changed. The goals I had in my 20s and 30s are not the goals I have today. I’ve met those – achieved those – and what I value has evolved over the years. Now it’s time to align these values more closely with the kind of work I do. To do that means branching out in a totally new direction.”

“I am a child of the 60s. We started out with a lot of idealism and a belief that we could make things better in the world. What I’m seeing now is a lot of younger people in their late twenties, early thirties, who are seeing that in themselves, too. There’s a spark there that I relate to and I feel it’s important to keep that spark ignited so I can continue to make a difference – something I’m not so sure I’m doing in my current career.”

“If I am really honest with myself, I know I’m just not performing at my peak level any longer. To admit that is frightening to me, but at the same time it challenges me to step up my game or step off and into a new arena.”

“I literally woke up one morning and realized I’d been doing this for 25 years. It’s not that I haven’t loved what I’ve done, but I just can’t imagine myself doing it for the next 25 years.”

Taking Stock

Over the course of his research, psychologist Erik Erikson emphasized the importance of having a sense of authenticity and integrity in later midlife. He found that the growth of the personality in the 40s and 50s is built on a heightened concern with the meaning of life and the process of taking stock, resilience in the face of setbacks, and greater self-acceptance.

There is a deeper sense of the core self, with fewer illusions and a beginning appraisal of where career and life has taken a woman. This re-examination is as natural as it is inevitable, and it often begins by asking questions and seeking answers from her internal world as well as her external world.

The questions a woman may ask herself are some of the same questions I asked during my recent conversations with various career women. As a favor to me, but more importantly, as a favor to yourself, take a break; make yourself a piping hot cup of herbal tea; sit down somewhere quiet, somewhere private, and allow your mind to consider the following:

What are the top 3 goals you most want to achieve?
What are the top 3 things you love about what you currently do?
What are the top 3 things that aren’t working for you, or that you’re not actively addressing?
As a high-achieving, soul-driven woman, what is it that ignites that fire in your belly?
What is the 1 thing you feel is holding you back from living your most optimum life?

After you’ve spent some time thinking about these things, I’d love for you to share your answers here as part of this blog post. Let’s continue the conversation we’ve started and see where it leads us. We’re all on a journey of discovery, and all roads lead to a more sacred kind of success…

Alchemist, Gardener or Vagabond Traveler – What Do I Want to Be When I Grow Up (Again)?

Evelyn — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:05:10 +0000

Midlife is a time for reassessing: your career, your goals, your ambitions. Perhaps you’re looking to try something new, but you’re not quite sure how to go about it or what exactly that “something” is, but what you do know is that it’s time to find out.

It can be a daunting proposition to jettison a career you’ve spent so many years cultivating and growing. Not to mention dealing with the dreaded “C” word: Change!

How can you make it easier?

The first thing is to make a list of 15-20 things you’re passionate about that you can explore doing for a living. It’s important not to censor yourself or spend time picking apart your choices. It’s about brainstorming possibilities, so leave your judgments and preconceptions at the curb for this part of the process.

Here’s the list I put together when I went through my own reassessment period several years ago:

Writing
Traveling
Teaching
Coaching
Creating
Designing
Decorating
Organizing events or projects
Speaking
Gardening
Spending time exploring nature
Collecting Native American artwork
Researching
Learning
Making a positive difference in the world
Mentoring

Be sure to reflect back on the things you loved doing as a child, because it’s often these childhood passions that still fuel our creativity, even though we may have cast them aside in order to become “responsible adults.”

The next step in the p.r.o.c.e.s.s. is to do an assessment of your core strengths. Having a solid handle on the things you do well will help you decide what direction you want to take in your career and life. It’s a key piece of the reassessment puzzle.

Again, don’t over-analyze. Just brainstorm freely, and be sure to include personal strengths along with actual talents and abilities that are more a function of what you do in your job. Ask colleagues, friends, family, and those you trust for their input, especially if you have the tendency to undervalue your gifts.

Here’s my list of core strengths (with a little help from my friends…):

Strong communicator
Strategic thinker
Goal-directed
Empathetic
Good listener
Relationship builder
Organized
Intuitive, yet grounded
Inspirational
Resilient
Curious
Problem-solver
Flexible
Collaborative
Able to see the big picture – 360 degree view
Abstract thinker
Believe in possibilities
Risk-taker
Humorous
Teacher
Spontaneous

We’re looking at strengths here – not things we don’t like about ourselves, or that we want/need to improve upon. It’s easy to come up with a list of what we don’t do well. Excavating your core strengths will probably take you much longer, because for many women the tendency to be self-critical is hardwired into our psyche.

Finally, ask yourself: “What is my big Why?” What motivates you; drives you to get up each day; sparks your innate curiosity? For me, my big “Why” is a strong desire to make a positive difference in someone’s life – whether it’s my family, friends, colleagues, clients, or the world-at-large. It’s the ONE thing that figures predominantly in all the decisions I make, and what commitments I agree to take on.

Less crucial, but still in my top 5, is the need for freedom, exploration and variety. Anything that tethers me too tightly, or keeps me from having the flexibility to travel, or doesn’t enable me to work in a way that takes advantage of my energy cycles, is not the career for me.

Neither is a singular career. Being an entrepreneur requires that I wear various hats, deal with multiple issues at the same time. It requires that I utilize my core strengths in numerous ways, and no two days are ever the same.

It’s my perfect fit. What’s yours?

Are you still charged up about your career? If so, what’s your big “Why”? If not, and you’re just beginning, in the midst of, or have already completed your transition to something new and different, I’d love to know what you’ve discovered about your “Why.” Please share your comments here.

7 Days to Know if You’re at Your Turning Point – Day 6: Marilyn’s Story

Evelyn — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 23:02:42 +0000

For the next 7 days I’ll be sharing one story a day about a woman who reached her turning point. I don’t believe there is a single “way” to transformation. There is only our own unique way, and only we can do the work necessary to achieve our own sacred success…

We all have them: Those defining moments when the forces of head and heart come together with crystal clarity and we know that what we’ve been doing, or haven’t been doing, is no longer enough. For some of us it’s like standing at the edge of a precipice looking out at the vast open space beyond; for others it’s like standing at a fork in the road, looking left then right, but not moving because we can’t decide which road to take. Still others of us feel that nagging vibration in the pit of our soul that refuses to be silenced.

These moments are defining ones because it’s then that we realize we must make a decision: to jump; to turn in one direction or the other; to listen to the voice reverberating from some still small place within us. It’s then that we reach our turning point. That moment when we acknowledge the need to do something differently; to let go of something that’s holding us back and away; to step into the extraordinary life we glimpse on the other side.

Marilyn’s Story

All I can ever remember wanting to be was an attorney. Then I spent a year as an exchange student in London and met my husband. We married, returned to California and instead of attending law school I opted to work so we could afford a house and then have a family.

I became a stay at home mom and really enjoyed it, but also rose to the top in several volunteer positions and found that I really liked being a leader and also having a cause to pursue. I think wanting to be an attorney was all about being a warrior. In any event, when my kids grew up and moved away, I thought about law school again, but decided I wasn’t willing to do the work and make the sacrifices it would involve.

Instead, I started my own Professional Organizing business. It was supposed to be a fun, part time hobby (we didn’t need the money). Well it became so successful that it took over my life and became a full time, very successful business. I didn’t even KNOW I liked business, but found out that I loved marketing and sales.

As time went by and I became more successful I had to decide if I wanted to continue growing or just keep to being small. I didn’t want to live with the “what ifs” and “if only’s” so I continued to grow the business. I became a business development coach and speaker.

The trouble was, I often missed my husband and never had time for myself either. I had a stack of “just for fun” books, but no time to read them.

Not too long ago we bought a holiday house on a lake in order to be near our kids and grandkids. The first time I stepped out on the dock and looked out over the serene water, I knew I was ready to slow down and read those books. I WANTED to slow down. I had never considered it before.

So my new goal this year is to develop a business model where I don’t have to travel but can still speak, teach and coach – just as long as I don’t miss my hubby and I have time for myself and the lake.

Turning points come at unexpected times and you must be ready to recognize that turning point when it arrives. I might have ignored the lake calling to me a year ago.

I’d love to know what those of you reading this blog post feel about you own turning point. Have you reached it? What was it like for you? Are you beginning to feel that rumble, that nagging restlessness that’s telling you a change is coming? Please share your thoughts and comments here as we explore then next 7 days of turning points.

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Are you a woman executive whose career is beginning to wear like a tight-fitting pair of heels? If so, this call is for you! There is still time to register for my free one-hour teleclass: “Your Turning Point: The First Step Toward Your Extraordinary Life Waiting for You” scheduled for January 12, 2010 at 12:00 p.m. ET/9:00 a.m. PT. The only thing you need to commit to is 60 minutes of your time, and I’d love to have you be a part of the conversation and the journey. You can learn more by following this link: http://www.evelynkalinosky.com/yourturningpoint.

7 Days to Know if You’re at Your Turning Point – Day 5: Michele’s Story

Evelyn — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 17:23:41 +0000

Michele’s Story

From as far back as I can remember I wanted to be a performer. When I turned 18 I went to New York City to study dance and theater. I was blessed to have received a dance scholarship and my goal was to pursue acting full time when I graduated, but after a few years of barely scraping by a voice in my head told me: “You’ve got to stop thinking like a child and get a real job.”

Truthfully, a lot of this internal voice came from my parents, who even though supportive of my talents and abilities, always wanted me to be realistic about my career. They liked to remind me of the dismal percentage of actors who ever became stars. How was I going to support myself?

So I listened. I began pursuing the corporate route in publishing, but I just couldn’t give up acting completely. I did off-Broadway plays for little to no money, doing shows and rehearsing in the evenings after working full time during the day. I’d do a couple of productions a year, and because I also loved to write, I wrote monologues and short stories, too.

As the years went by, more and more time was taken away from the creative work I loved in place of my corporate responsibilities. I wasn’t unhappy at work. I got involved in the different projects they’d assign me to and my co-workers were nice. It was all okay, and yet I’d find that by mid afternoon I’d be exhausted and want to go to bed, but I’d push through it until the evening when I’d get to rehearsal and I’d be full of energy again.

My corporate life was very structured and my work wasn’t that challenging. It was stable, though, and the pay was really good so I’d tell myself to be grateful I didn’t have to worry about money. Maybe if I’d been more miserable I would have done something sooner instead of remaining stuck in an unfulfilling life. I had the routine Sunday evening dread, the feeling like my life wasn’t really my own, and yet I didn’t take any action to make a real change. I just kept rationalizing; telling myself I was being selfish and childish to keep thinking about performing as a career. I had responsibilities to my husband, who seemed quite content with the way things were.

Then, at the age of 35 I got an out-of-the-blue call from a man I’d worked with many years earlier who was producing a play in California and he wanted me to choreograph it for him. When I first received the call I told myself: “This is crazy. You can’t do this. You can’t quit your job, leave your husband and go out to California for 4 months.” At the same time, I heard this little voice inside me telling me I needed to pay attention to this opportunity. This time, the inner voice won out.

I had the most amazing time in L.A. Being back in that environment full time made me come alive. I was working harder and working longer hours than ever before, but I didn’t care because I felt so engaged; so happy to be part of it all. I didn’t want it to end. But it did. I remember sitting in the airport waiting for my flight back to New York and thinking: “Now I have to go back to my real life,” and there was no joy in that thought.

Back in New York I was miserable. Where before I had managed to trudge along, not really happy or sad, after getting a taste of the life I truly wanted it was impossible for me to reconcile the joy I felt in L.A. with what I now felt. I was torn between my need to be responsible and my desire to live life on my own terms. So, I vacillated. I bounced back and forth between being pragmatic and being a dreamer, never quite able to let go of the memories of those four months in California.

When I finally drummed up the courage to talk to my husband, I was sure he’d be anything but supportive. I was wrong. He’d seen the woman who came home from L.A. all fired up and alive and he liked her. He’d watched as that fire slowly banked until there were only a few remaining embers. More important to him than the security of two steady incomes was having a wife who wasn’t disconnected from him, from their life together, from everything.

I took it one step at a time, going from full time to part time, to working as an independent consultant. I used the extra free time to pursue my new life. I joined a theater company, and I’m writing all the time, doing plays and assisting with choreography. The work is far less fragmented than I thought it would be, and now that I place a firm value on what I have to offer, I’m being paid better, too.

I had been so depressed in the past, and yet I wasn’t able to take that first step toward the life I knew I wanted. I had to learn to trust myself, and to trust the little voice inside of me. I had to learn to close the gap between responsibility and passion, and discovered that it doesn’t have to be either/or. I can choose the life I’m meant to live and still be responsible. I can show up every day; give it 100% of my effort and be paid for my talents and abilities. I learned I want more than to just make a living. I want to make a life.

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Turning Point

Evelyn — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 19:29:20 +0000

A recent survey of midlife women conducted by More magazine revealed some interesting (and not surprising) results. When asked to define the most important aspects of a great job, in addition to a good salary and benefits, midlife women told More they need:

Meaning – to feel that they’re contributing positively 98%
A job in a growing field with a bright future 89%
A high level of freedom or control 87%
A job that’s appropriate for a woman over 40 79%
A chance to work a flexible schedule 73%

I know these elements are certainly essential to me. One of the main reasons I took the leap to become an entrepreneur in midlife was to fulfill many of these same outcomes, although my career path is a bit different than the norm, since most of it has been based on doing work that enabled me to feel I was contributing positively, and that generally took priority over salary and benefits. As I’ve gotten older I’ve decided that I need more of a merging between money and meaning, and have learned that it’s possible, even necessary, to have them both as front line goals.

When I say the results of the survey aren’t surprising, it’s because this is what I consistently here from my clients and other midlife women I talk with when it comes to what they want in a career at this stage of their lives. In our younger years it’s understandable that the focus might be more on the financial aspects of getting ahead. Climbing the corporate ladder or navigating any organization requires focus and tenacity in order to reach the pinnacle of success. There’s no shame in that. These are honorable goals. I think what happens, though, is as we age into our 40s and 50s our goals shift. They become more expansive. They become about more than just ourselves; they become more about how we relate to the world around us, and how we can take what we’ve learned, what we’ve built over the years, and create a lasting legacy. It’s that “search for significance” I tend to write so much about.

Many women reach a crossroads in their 40s and early 50s where career alone is not enough to sustain them. They’re professional life is starting to feel like a tight pair of shoes. It’s no longer fitting them and the life they want to lead. They are searching for something more. For some that means travelling a totally new path; for others it means finding a way to reconnect with their career in a way that is more meaningful and more heart-centered. The reasons may vary, but the need is often the same: to merge money and meaning in a way that enables women to achieve a more sacred kind of success.

It can be a painful place to be, and there are often painful questions that need to be asked such as: When did I let my life become not my own? When did I lose touch with myself? How can I be so financially successful and feel so personally bankrupt? While it might feel like that old song “Is This All There Is?” I know – having been there – that it isn’t. There is so much more. There’s a life that has you bounding out of bed with enthusiasm; a life where you control what you do and how you do it; a life of balance, power, passion, and purpose.

There’s an authentic you showing up for that life; a you who uses your one-of-a-kind voice, abilities, and talents; a you who hasn’t checked one single part of yourself at the door; a you who has explored your core and has tapped into your unlimited wealth. And there’s your own personal vision for your sacred success: the kind of success that makes a difference in the lives of others; the kind of success that merges money and meaning; the kind of success that creates purposeful work and a lasting legacy.

One of my favorite quotes is by George Eliot who wrote: “It’s never too late to be who you might have been.” Ladies, who do you want to be on this next journey?

***Because this is such a driving force in the lives of so many midlife business women, I’ve put together a free one-hour teleclass:“Your Turning Point: The First Step Toward Your Extraordinary Life Waiting for You” that’s scheduled for January 12, 2010 at 12:00 p.m. ET/9:00 a.m. PT. The only thing you need to commit to is 60 minutes of your time, and I’d love to have you be a part of the conversation and the journey. If this feels like something you’d like to explore, you can learn more by following this link: http://www.evelynkalinosky.com/programs-and-services/1238.

A Search for Significance

Evelyn — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 15:25:26 +0000

While working on developing products and services for 2010, it occurred to me that I needed to ask a number of questions of the women I serve or hope to serve before I can create a telecourse, e-book, or any other product that is spot on. So I began to do just that, and have spent the past couple of months talking with women all across the corporate spectrum about their pain points, their challenges, their goals and passions. I wanted to get a better handle on what ignites a fire in the belly of a high-achieving, soul-driven midlife woman, and I wasn’t disappointed.

Over the course of his research, psychologist Erik Erikson emphasized the importance of having a sense of authenticity and integrity in later midlife. He found that the growth of the personality in the 40s and 50s is built on a heightened concern with the meaning of life and the process of taking stock, resilience in the face of setbacks, and greater self-acceptance.

There is a deeper sense of the core self, with fewer illusions and a beginning appraisal of where career and life has taken a woman. This re-examination is as natural as it is inevitable, and it often begins by asking questions and seeking answers from her internal world as well as her external world.

What are the top 3 goals you most want to achieve?
What are the top 3 things you love about what you currently do?
What are the top 3 things that aren’t working for you, or that you’re not actively addressing?
As a high-achieving, soul-driven woman, what is it that ignites that fire in your belly?
What is the 1 thing you feel is holding you back from living your most optimum life?

After you’ve spent some time thinking about these things, I’d love for you to share your answers here as part of this blog post. Let’s continue the conversation we’ve started and see where it leads us. We’re all on a journey of discovery, and all roads lead to a more sacred kind of success…

Finding Personal Meaning Is An Inside Job: 5 Essential Competencies Women Need To Tackle To Successfully Launch A ReCareer

Evelyn — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 17:13:23 +0000

For women, the second half of life brings with it many career choices and questions. For some women, continuing in a current career doesn’t fulfill personal, spiritual or financial needs as it once did. For others, re-entering the workforce has become a necessity due to the changes in the economy. In either case, a ReCareer may be the answer. What is a ReCareer? According to Dr. Richard P. Johnson, nationally renowned expert on maturing adult development and founder of ReCareer, Inc. it is: “Personally authentic work that feeds your mind, your heart, and your spirit.”

Largely because of seekers like my friend, there has been a fundamental shift in how we perceive getting older. Previous assumptions about life’s second half are becoming passé as a new set of beliefs are giving birth to what it means to live optimally. Aging is no longer viewed as a forced march down a path of decline and constriction, a path that narrows the older we get. The path we’re on now is one of expansion, with an accent on gaining new wisdom, and discovering a new authenticity and significance greater than anything previously experienced.

Certainly the goals of working over our lifespan have changed. Our former jobs provided a financial foundation. They paid the mortgage, put the kids through school, and got us through the daily expenses of living. All of this was necessary, but for many reasons women are now searching for something more; something that gives rise to that still small voice within longing for achievement of a different type – something that feeds their very being.

There are relatively few, if any, clear cut directions for women in midlife who are seeking that blending of career and life passion, so how do they begin this ReCareer journey? The first thing is to commit to a personal assessment, a personal excavation of sorts. A ReCareer represents much more than a set of skills and functions, it’s a woman’s personal response to her inner call; it’s her investment in the mission of her life. A ReCareer determines much of a woman’s total environment: physical, social, mental, psychological, and even spiritual arenas of living.